my life

Worry Warrior

I am extremely good at worrying. If it was a talent, I would boast, but unfortunately it’s not. If there were award ceremonies to those with high anxiety, I’m sure I would win at least one category. However, imagine the anxiety I would feel from having to give an acceptance speech…

I’ve always been this way, since as far back as I can remember. I think my grandmother passed this awesome trait to my siblings and me. I can find a way to worry about the smallest of things. But as of lately, I’ve had quite a few legitimate reasons to feel some high anxiety.

At the end of this year, I am turning the big 25! I will be a quarter of a century old, and when I put it like that, I want to curl up in the fetal position and cry. However, when I was younger I thought my life would be just a tad more established than it is now. My younger self imagined by the age of 25 that I would be done with college (Graduate school included), own a house, be married, and getting ready for my first child at the least. I haven’t completed any of those feats. But the good thing is I’m not too far off.

This winter, I will be completing my Bachelor’s degree. Next June, I will be marrying my amazing fiancé. So, these next few months will be filled with me planning a wedding, completing my degree, and applying to graduate school. I am open to attending a graduate school out-of-state, so moving and all the stressors of that might be thrown into the mix shortly after.

I am a very fortunate lady; these are all fantastic, exciting things coming my way. My problem is that it seems like they are coming too closely together. While this is all happening, there’s a voice inside of me telling me that I’m getting older and that I’m already behind for my age. I know this is nonsense and that life is no race, but that inner voice in me won’t quit.

The truth is, I know now that life passes by so quickly. All my elders used to warn me that and boy, were they right! Obviously, life events don’t go as planned, or take longer than expected. Life is just filled with obstacles and hurdles that I truly believe prepare you for the next leg of the race. They set you back on time, but truly prepare you and shape you into a better you.

So, time has crept up on me. And I’m worried because some huge changes are about to occur within the next year or so. While I’m worrying about that, I’m worried that I’m not doing this “life” thing right and am behind. So what? My life is not exactly what I envisioned when I was 10; what the hell did I know at that age anyways?! Other than Barbie dolls were the best.

My nerves will be shot for the next year but I have a feeling it will be worth it.

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