my life

Day 10 of #30Layers30Days: Tell All

Does this sound like you:

You don’t think you’re creative.

You love to create, but you don’t think you are particularly talented.

You don’t want the people in your life to judge your creative vulnerability, so you hide it.

If you were not concerned about these things and felt free to explore and express yourself freely, what would you do?   What would you create?  What story would you tell and how would you tell it?

Yup, sounds exactly like me. I often feel intimidated after viewing someone else’s work. If I admire their work, I convince myself that I could never produce something like that. I get filled with the thoughts that I am not good or creative enough. The self- loathing always wins and I’m stuck feeling defeated.

So I put off writing that book idea I’ve had for ages or writing that screenplay that I want to produce. One of my dreams is to produce and direct a film, yet I’m too filled with self-doubt to even attempt to put it together. I don’t believe in my ability. I don’t think I have what it takes to create something worthwhile. I know what you are thinking, I’m a coward.

If I knew I could not fail, I would do it all. I would do all that I mentioned above and then some.

I suppose it’s the fear of failure that halts me from really trying. I know that I would be devastated to pour myself into a project just for it to flop. It’s just a natural feeling to want success instead of the humiliating failure.

However, I’ve learned recently that true artists tend to create for themselves. They create and allow others to view but not dictate their art. If people get it/ enjoy it then it’s a plus. But ultimately, there is always going to be people who dislike it. I shouldn’t let that be the reason I don’t express myself.

If I could get the nerve, I would tell my story if I achieve success. I would document my journey into success and hope it aspires many to do the same.

For now, I just have to keep reminding myself that failure is part of the process.

Anyone else ever get hesitant about creating or following their passion? Share in the comment section below.

I’m participating in the #30Layers30Days self-discover challenge for the month of November. Be sure to check out All The Many Layers blog for more details.


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